How to Start Coaching Yourself: A Practical Guide to Self-Coaching

A serene moment of reflection, where shimmering lights guide the path to clarity and confidence.

Introduction

Coaching is often described as a conversation that unlocks potential. As a Leadership Coach, I see the impact it can have on confidence, clarity, and progress. However, not everyone has access to a coach all the time, which is where self-coaching comes in.

Whether you are navigating career change, seeking greater focus, or simply wanting to feel more confident in everyday decisions, self-coaching offers a practical way to pause, reflect, and move forward.

Why Self-Coach?

We live in a time where many of us are managing change, career decisions, new opportunities, or simply wanting to feel more fulfilled in our daily lives. Coaching provides the space to stop, reflect, and create clarity.

However, professional coaching requires both time and financial investment and some people simply don’t feel ready yet. That doesn’t mean you can’t benefit from a coaching mindset. Self-coaching helps you think differently, gain perspective, and take meaningful action towards what matters most.

What Self-Coaching is and isn’t

Self-Coaching is about asking yourself better questions and creating space to reflect. It’s about exploring what you want, challenging assumptions that hold you back, and taking small, practical steps towards your goals.

It isn’t therapy and it isn’t about giving yourself advice. It’s also not about getting everything right straight away. Self-Coaching is a process of curiosity and discovery, and progress often comes in small but meaningful steps.

A simple framework to guide yourself

The approach I share here is based on the GROW Coaching model, which is a great structure to help you start your Self-Coaching conversations. 

Start by think about what it is you’re wanting to change, improve, do differently and then work through each of the stages:

1.      Clarify your Goal

Begin by asking: What outcome am I looking for? What does success look like?

Write it down in one clear sentence.

2.      Explore your Current Reality

Reflect on where you are today. What’s happening right now that makes this a challenge? What have I tried already? What strengths can I draw on?

3.      Generate options

Ask: What could I do that would move me forward one step? If I had no limits, what would I do? What would someone I admire try here? 

Write down as many ideas as you can, then choose the ones that feel most

achievable.

4.      Decide your way forward

Pick the action that feels right for you. Which step takes me closer to my goal? When will I start? What support might I need?

5.      Review and reflect

Check in with yourself regularly. On a scale of one to ten, how committed am I? What’s working, and what do I need to adjust? 

Reflection strengthens confidence and resilience.

A GROW Example

Let’s say your goal is to feel more confident speaking up in meetings:

Goal	“I want to contribute at least once in every team meeting.”
Reality	Right now, I often stay quiet because I worry my ideas aren’t good enough,
Options	I could prepare one point in advance, ask a colleague for feedback, or practise in a smaller group first.
Way Forward	In my next meeting, I’ll share one idea I’ve prepared and then reflect on how it went.

This isn’t about transforming overnight, it’s about building momentum step by step.

It takes practice

Self-Coaching doesn’t mean you’ll instantly have clarity or that every action will go smoothly. Some days you’ll feel progress, other days you might feel stuck. That’s part of the process.

What matters is the habit of pausing, asking yourself better questions, and taking intentional steps forward.

 Take the next step

To help you put this into practice, I’ve created a Self-Coaching Worksheet. It’s a structured guide that walks you through the exact questions and steps in a clear, practical way, with space to write your own reflections and actions.

👉 If you’d like a copy, simply email me at info@KVRConsultancy.com and I’ll send it over to you.

This way, you’re not just reading about Self-Coaching you’ll have a tool you can use straight away to start making meaningful progress.